I found out today that my daughter has strep. The poor little girl looks like death warmed over!
She’s been sick for a few days, starting with a cough and moving into a runny nose and finally a fever yesterday and today that topped out at 104. Needless to say she’s had a pretty rough couple of days.
She’s had a tough time sleeping the last few nights with the runny nose and congestion. We tried propping her up with pillows and a few other techniques which helped a little, but not too much. The difficulty sleeping reached its climax two nights ago, and caused me to remember something that I for some reason was choosing to ignore.
I was playing video games in the living room and heard Emily crying, so I went in to check on her. I found her laying on her stomach with her hands and legs tucked under her, just wailing her little heart out. I don’t know about other fathers, but I’m a sucker when it comes to my little girl so I picked her up and held her until she calmed down.
After she had calmed down I asked her if she wanted daddy so stay with her for a while and she nodded and asked me to lay down with her. So I laid on my back and let her lay on my chest for the next hour until she was sleeping comfortably and I could put her back in her bed. I didn’t do anything to make her sickness go away, but apparently just being in my presence calmed her enough that she was able to rest and finally fall asleep.
When I look at my relationship with my daughter, specifically her view of both me and my wife, I see a kind of devotion and reliance from her that I think is missing from my relationship with God. I can’t remember the last time I was just content to sit with God and be in His presence. Especially when my circumstances are less than ideal. My inclination is to either fix it myself or cry out in frustration or anger. Neither response is what God desires.
All Emily wanted was to be near daddy (she would have preferred mommy, but that’s ok!) because she knew daddy loved her and would make things better. I can’t always say the same about my relationship with God. Like I said before, I usually rely on myself.
I wonder how often the same “situation” played itself out for me. I was stuck in my own misery and God came in to provide comfort but I was too busy wallowing in self-pity or trying to make it work on my own. The really crazy thing is that I know how comforting the Lord’s presence can be. I doubt I’m the only one who experiences this…but it’s no less crazy. It really amazes me how much I’ve noticed about my own relationship with God just from observing my relationship with Emily.