Oh, man. Can you imagine the possibilities of this? There are so many things a person could do if they were in possession of a time machine. They could go back and prevent embarrassing situations from happening, prevent accidents or disasters, or wreak havoc. Man, it could be awesome! Of course I’ve been thinking about this, and I have a list of things I would do if I had a time machine. Here are at least 20. I might have to post more as I get inspired.
If I had a time machine, I would:
- Go back to 1984 and stop myself from trying to ride my Power Wheels down the back stairs in my house.
- Ride a dinosaur. Probably a small herbivore. My guess is that I would get eaten if I tried to ride a T-Rex. And I imagine getting eaten sucks.
- Tell my dad to get off the ladder before he fell 3 stories onto a concrete patio. He survived the original fall, but it would be nice if he didn’t have to fall to begin with!
- Find whoever invented pizza and shake his hand.
- Stop myself from wasting a crapload of money on my first two years of private college for a computer science degree I never came close to getting.
- Go back to the 1930’s and meet Chuck Norris’ parents and become friends with them. Then get them to name their child after me. You know…by writing this I might have just made that happen. It feels pretty awesome to know that one of the greatest mortals ever to live was named after me.
- Find the person who invented the worst late 80’s/early 90’s trend “tight rolling” and punch him in the junk.
- Figure out a way to stop 9/11.
- Find the guy who invented the Recee’s Peanut Butter Cup and shake his hand. Then mug him and steal the recipe.
- Eat a dodo bird. I hear they’re delicious!
- Go to Woodstock and throw stuff a hippies. I don’t really have anything against them, I just think it might be fun.
- Spend some time in ancient Rome.
- Invent surfing.
- Go back to 8th grade and tell myself to stop being a loser and ask Krista to dance. I didn’t really have a thing for her, but was still to afraid to ask her to dance. So lame!
- Teach a young, teenage Jesus a new game; Dodge Rock, that would cause him to spend the next few years of his life perfecting the sport and then turning semi-pro, before retiring and going about saving the world from its sins.
- Take credit for inventing the sport of Ghosting.
- Stop my 15-year-old self from trying to ride my motorcycle over a water pipe 10′ in the air.
- See if saving money on car insurance is really so easy that a caveman can do it.
- Find a real pirate and steal his wooden leg.
- Go back to just before said pirate loses his real leg and and give the wooden leg to him (with a note saying, “Here, you’ll be needing this soon.” nailed to it.)
So there you have it. 20 things I would do if I had a time machine. What would you do if you had one?